#195: Back to the Mat
Last Tuesday, for the first time in a month and a half, I meditated. I got up, showered and dressed, and before I did anything else, sat on the cushion in my guest room for 10 minutes and just breathed.
To be sure, it was not my best meditation session. It was mostly a frantic ricochet between my monkey brain listing everything I needed to do that day and my deeper brain trying to pull myself back to center.
That's okay. After a six week break, I didn't expect my meditation to go well. I just expected it to go, which is what it did. The 10 minutes moved past as I expected them to, with moments of calm and moments of frantic worry and I didn't try to fight either. I just enjoyed sitting, breathing, and watching the thoughts float by.
At the end of my meditation, the bell sounded, and I looked at my app. Turns out that last Tuesday, my first day back to the mat in a while, was also my 100th lifetime meditation session. I was pleased with the symmetry of that, and with the fact that I've made it to 100 sessions, even with some hiccups and interruptions.
It didn't cure me, or anything. I was still anxious to get my day started, and a little jittery like I always am the first day back after vacation, but, in the words of Dan Harris, I was about 10% happier. And that's good enough for me.