#189: Back to Basics
I'm embarrassed to write this, but I haven't meditated in almost two months.
I was doing so well, hitting my cushion every morning, sitting for 5-15 minutes and calming my monkey mind and then...I stopped.
It wasn't a conscious decision. It was simply a drift from my habit of meditating before I went downstairs in the morning into a habit of NOT meditating before I went downstairs.
And I can tell the difference. I'm more agitated daily, less able to focus, more restless, less disciplined, all the things I was getting better at while meditating regularly. I feel as though I'm a yo-yo that's unwound. I'm just dangling here in space, sometimes half-heartedly winding up the string, but never achieving the same velocity or momentum I had before.
But the only thing for it is to start again. Brush myself off, dust off my table and salt lamp, fluff up my meditation cushion, and start over. It's frustrating, but it would be more frustrating if I never started again.